"how exactly good it is to know myself in the solitude of winter"

"You are barely one year out of art school, so what you might be experiencing are symptoms of withdrawal, not unlike those associated with mind-altering drugs. You've been on a bad trip, and it's going to take a little while to connect with reality. There are some things you can do, a few techniques that have worked for me, to minimize the confusion and trauma.

Art schools are sort of like Crack dens. While inside, the environment feels cozy, everything there seems remarkable because you're all smoking from the same pipe. In the heady, hazy fog of dialogue and critique, the smallest achievements are amplified. You begin to believe that things you make or do have value simply because you made or did them. Your friends are all supportive, they like your stuff. 'This is all very interesting, a nice piece.' Be wary of this incessant chatter. In the sober world, the world outside, nobody really cares. Here, you have to win attention, and the span allotted for recognition and celebrity is short and narrow, indeed. Nevertheless, you did inhale lots of bullshit, and now it's time to blow it out and rehabilitate." -Kerry James Marshall--Letters to a Young Artist.

A running theme in all of our lives as noted by myself this very morning. Loneliness. But it is "the solitary person (whether in city or desert) who does mankind the inestimable favor of reminding it of its true capacity for maturity, liberty and peace." -Thomas Merton--Raids on the Unspeakable. Being solitary feels to be a gift today and I feel perfect in it with the sky so big after the rain, Hilary Hahn playing the strings off her violin from the bedroom. Here's to me, to Lauren, Libby, Jamie and to Sydney.