Hello all,
Here is my somewhat scattered critique of the work posted. I did not read anyone else’s comments and I tended to go for more “constructive criticism”-you all know I really enjoy your work so I figured I didn’t need to do any “fluffing.” Please feel free to comment on or question anything I say...okay, here we go:
Jamie-
In matters of form I believe the front half (flying upwards) is much more successful than the portion piling on the ground. I think I would be satisfied with most of it cut off. I am not getting much of a thrust, or directional force, from the bottom, it starts more in the middle for me-the rest seems impertinent. I think it would also work better if the planes were pooling more on the ground, spilling out and then forming into the object.
As I contemplate this piece I am also wondering why such thick paint application...? When I think of paper planes I think of a lightness, an airiness, ready for liftoff. These planes seem to be struggling and I am more aware of the gravity pulling them down than the space they are circling into...perhaps this is a good thing...?
I think this piece is successful in that you have an intriguing form from far away and then as you approach, you are drawn in by the details-the millions of planes and thread. Very well done.
However, I am not sure that I am sold on the haphazardness of the colors, they seem too random, I could use some order.....but that may be because I am a judger....
All in all, this piece was a huge undertaking and successful-I am intrigued to see what comes out of it.
Libby-
I will begin with the orange pipe cleaner piece; I am more interested in the second photograph taken of the piece because the form seems more contained. Seen in its entirety, I do not think all areas have been fully considered (i.e. the way the paper trails off and since there is so much hanging thread it just seems like you didn’t have time to trim or take care of it.) I also think the pipe cleaners could do something beyond curving back up the wall; maybe that would be simply one more curve or an extension into another material etc... With this piece I get the sense that you laid it all out for me-there is nothing surprising after the first look...I need something more to come back to and wonder at.
I am going to call the next piece the “caterpillar piece”...the yellow seam is really working for me-it is an interesting detail that reminds me of the handmade and calls attention to the craft. The color palette is harmonious yet strange and the sparkly pipe cleaners poking out the top provide a nice little punch. I would like to see ten more of these arranged in relationship to one another-perhaps hanging from the ceiling, or moving from the wall to the floor/ceiling. I think it would also be more successful if you made of curve of the cylinder more deliberate.
As for the bean pods i think they are an interesting subject matter and you should explore them. I would try making them very delicate and then also really heavy, depending on the materials...experiment! Make ONE HUNDRED! Go!
Eleanor-
I think your self portrait would be pushed further if you combined the pencil lines with the wash over the paper. That sort of liminal space, pushing back and being pulled up could be interesting. I know this is just a study but I think it could be worked more; what would happen if you vigorously erased? I would also like to see a more up-close view, more cropped...you tend you give your figures a lot of room-why?
As for the pink/line painting the areas where the lines overlap and intersect make me want to look closer. Otherwise I take one look and understand that those are figures...But the surface is not worked enough for me to comment very much-you should be more aggressive in layering the images, and experiment with blocking in areas....go at it!
And that is all, for now.
